October 1st, 2009
By Ellen Paderson, from Bar/Bat Mitzvah Vacations
Increasingly, parents are looking for new, exciting and less expensive ways to mark their child’s milestone. As a travel agent for more than 15 years, I have been replacing traditional events with destination wedding or anniversary parties. I am now finding more and more families who are adapting this concept for their child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
Among the most popular packages are a Caribbean Bar Mitzvah Vacation with a flight to one of the islands and the ceremony in a historic synagogue, or a Caribbean Cruise Bar Mitzvah.
There are several reasons that a Bar Mitzvah Vacation concept is literally taking off:
Budget: With fewer invitees, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Vacation is usually less expensive than a more traditional temple/reception type of affair. This may allow you to budget a 3-, 4- or even 7-day celebration; you will create memories that will last a lifetime.
Family Time: In a time when family time is minimal, this presents an opportunity for the family to spend much needed quality time together.
Family Ties: For interfaith families and those who don’t have temple membership, the vacation alternative may be preferable.
Personality: For the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child, it’s an adventure they’ll never forget. For children with special needs, their role in the service can be reduced without anxiety. For kids who didn’t complete Hebrew school or who don’t do well in front of large audiences, there’s a lot less pressure.
Unique for Sibling: Some parents who held a Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s in a conventional way for their first child would like to explore a different option for their other children.
Alternative to Israel: Some families who had considered having the Bar/Bat Mtizvah in Israel may be rethinking that idea.
We would like to thank Ellen Paderson from Bar/Bat Mitzvah Vacations for sharing her ideas with us!
September 30th, 2009
Finding the right space to hold your Mitzvah is key. Creating the right atmosphere within that space is important, too. How can you create a space that feels right, goes with your theme and accommodates your guests the way you want? We caught up with Adam Batt (photo left) of Jersey Street Furniture to find out the ins and outs of working with a custom decor company.
Here’s what he came up with:
MM: First, can you tell us about Jersey Street Furniture.
AB: Jersey Street creates atmosphere for events. We transform an ordinary Mitzvah into an extra-ordinary experience. We do it with our custom made couches, ottomans, benches and banquettes along with bars, draping, lighting and staging.
MM: At what point in the planning process would a parent contact you? (Before theme is established? After? Before a venue is selected? After?)
AB: At all different times. The best case scenario is the parents come to visit our showroom with their child. We set up the showroom with an amazing Bar/Bat Mitzvah look. The child walks in and is blown away. I love the excitement in their eyes! Then we sit down and start discussing themes: hobbies, sports, things they’ve seen and did or didn’t like.
MM: What are the trends you are seeing right now?
AB: The trends are people still need and want to do these parties, but are spending less money. People with money don’t want to be as showy now, because it’s in bad taste. The trends are being innovative. We did a slumber party Bat Mitzvah where all of the kids wore PJs and were served breakfast food. We made huge 7ft round ottomans with bedspreads turned down. We put blankets in clear display cubes.
MM: What do you think is the “next big thing”?
AB: I think the next big thing is going to have to be be some crazy, far out idea, because it seems like we have done every imaginable theme! The more innovate themes seem to follow pop culture. We’ve done American Idol and Gossip Girl themes, for example.
MM: What TIP can you pass along to our Moms when considering booking a specialty decor company?
AB: Look at as many pictures of their work as possible, because that really shows what they can do. Shop around. You need to feel comfortable with the people. You’re spending potentially a lot of money on a milestone occasion and you want it to be perfect. Get references.
Thank you, Adam! If you want to see samples of Jersey Street Furniture’s work, please visit their Website.
September 30th, 2009
The term “branding” sounds very corporate, but the principles associated with the concept are extremely advantageous when planning a special event. We asked Michelle Shain and Lori Herz of Headlights Creative to explain “branding” and its value to us.
MM: What does “branding” mean when it comes to planning your child’s Mitzvah?
HC: Branding originated as a business term that refers to establishing the genuine and distinct personality of a company or organization and – by extension – its products or services. The concept has evolved and broadened over time and is now used in connection with individuals and events.
There’s a common perception that you brand a Bar/Bat Mitzvah simply by coming up with a cohesive theme for it like “A Night On Broadway” or “Take Me Out To The Ball Game.” Yes, themes are important, but the process of branding this one-time life event starts with the understanding that it’s essentially experiential in nature. At Headlights Creative, we ask clients to think about what kind of experience they want to have as a family and how they want themselves and their guests to feel (yes…feel) during and after the event. While no one has ever said that they want to be sad and somber, there’s still a range of emotions and experiences that can be expressed.
MM: What are ways we can accomplish this?
HC: There are many ways to foster the event-as-experience. Each element – logo design, color scheme, written copy – is a vehicle. From the save-the-date card and invitation to table decor, event signage and giveaways, the event offers ample opportunities to communicate to guests how the Mitzvah child and family feel about this great day and that the attendees are an integral part of the experience.
MM: What are the pitfalls you can help us avoid?
HC: If you come from a community where there are many Mitzvah celebrations each year, there can be a drive to stand out just for the sake of standing out. While being unique is great, we think that the real focus should be on the significance the day holds for the Mitzvah child and family. Every child and every family is wonderully distinct. Don’t be afraid to honor and share those differences as part of the event experience you’re designing through graphics and written content.
On a related note, it’s ok if you don’t have one theme for your event. You can celebrate all the different things that come together to make the Mitzvah child and your family who and what you are. Good design bridges these diverse parts and communicates how and why they constitute a wonderful whole.
MM: Do you have some examples/samples of branding ideas that might inspire our readers?
HC: We have a design portfolio on our Website at Headlights Creative. It presents a sampling of our event branding work and other design projects.
September 30th, 2009
You already read Mitzvah Planning Timeline Part I. As promised, here’s Part II. We want to thank Emily Haft Bloom, author of the fabulous book The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planner for letting us share her ideas with you.
6 months out:
Meet with vendors to plan the order of events at the celebration(s), provide photographers with photo list, plan weekend events including Shabbat dinner, brunch, arrange transportation for out-of-town guests to and from service and for your child’s friends, and order invitations, direction cards, placecards and personal stationery. You will also want to arrange for calligraphy and order stamps. Order kippot for service and discuss tabletop elements with floral designer including centerpieces, table linens and seating.
Decide what attire you and your family will need for the weekend. If you or your child is having a dress or suit made, set aside a few days to shop together. Don’t forget shoes, handbags, appropriate wraps for the service and attire for Friday night services. If your son or daughter is in the midst of an adolescent growth spurt, be prepared to visit the store for several fittings and be sure what you select has adequate room for tailoring! The same goes for footwear for all your offspring!
Three months out:
Drop off stationery at calligrapher, be sure to review all addresses carefully before mailing, stuff envelopes and affix postage, remembering to add postage to response envelopes. Meet with Rabbi to review elements of service and meet with tutor to assure your child is on schedule. Begin to prepare written elements of service including D’var Torah, any prayers parents may be asked to read, and speeches for celebration.
Two months out:
Arrange for personal care appointments for family such as haircuts and style appointments. Confirm arrangements for Shabbat dinner, meet with vendors to discuss any last elements not previously determined, speak to postmaster in your town to arrange for hand-canceling if you want it, confirm travel arrangements for out-of-town guests, arrange for small gift bags for hotel rooms, amenity baskets for restroom facilities and order favors for guests.
Six weeks out:
Mail invitations, arrange fittings for family, shop for footwear and make sure all elements of the family wardrobe for the weekend are complete. Provide entertainment vendor with song list and discuss special ceremonies like candlelighting, challah slicing, montage and toasts.
One month out:
Assemble seating arrangements, confirm Aliyot with Rabbi, arrange for rehearsal with synagogue, organize place cards and finalize any last-minute arrangements with out-of-town guests. Order sign-in board or buy guest book. Prepare and have printed service booklets or benchers.
Three weeks out:
Finalize numbers and let caterer know how many guests you are expecting. Finalize seating, assemble and wrap favors, complete written elements of the service and celebration, and make any necessary payments to vendors.
Two weeks out:
Assemble a bag to take with you, and be sure to get cash for gratuities and divide the money into envelopes for each vendor. Meet with tutor to make sure everyone is completely prepared. Attend rehearsals with Rabbi and confirm any transportation elements.
One week out:
Relax!
September 30th, 2009
No matter where you live or what type of affair you are planning, there is one thing that we all need to consider: the timeline we need to follow to get it all done! We caught up with Emily Haft Bloom, author of The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning Guide to get the full story on when you should be doing what. Her advice is so fabulous and in such detail, we have divided it into two installments. Look for next Monday’s Mitzvah Mail for Part II.
Two/Three years out:
Receive date from synagogue. While each synagogue employs a different method for distributing dates, if you find you share a date with another child, you may be able to request an alternate date. You should think about checking in with your child’s Hebrew school teacher to make sure they are on track.
As soon as you have your confirmed date in hand, you need to secure a venue for your celebration. At this point, it is helpful if you know what kind of service and celebration you want: a small, family-oriented service and a separate party for the B’nai Mitzvah’s friends, an evening or Havdalah service and a more formal party or a luncheon following the service for family and friends. It is helpful at this point to set a budget and have a rough idea of how many guests you will expect at the service and celebration.
18 months out:
Book vendors like entertainment, photography, videography, floral design and hire a party planner if you will be using one. A party planner is strongly recommended if you have chosen to have your celebration in a facility that does not have adequate kitchen facilities, chairs, tables and tableware. Ask friends and neighbors for referrals for all your vendors and be sure to read contracts carefully before signing; many packages are standard but some might require additional payments for services you would expect to be included.
One year out:
Finalize invitation list, gather addresses and begin to look at invitations, first alone to narrow down the choices and then with your child to avoid the inevitable conflicts over what’s appropriate. Meet with your child’s tutor to assure proper progress, and be sure your child is fulfilling the community service component if one is required.
Begin to think about the service. Consider who you would like to participate and in what way, what kind of music you would like if your synagogue offers options and what role you and your spouse will play. Will others read from the Torah? Will your other children be involved?
Book hotel rooms for out of town guests; speak with manager at the hotel and negotiate block of rooms at a reduced room rate. Of course, blocking hotel rooms is not as important as it once was. With sites like Hotels.com, your guests may actually find a better rate online. But it is nice to give them the option of a no-hassle, appropriate hotel that you already arranged.
Look for more of Emily’s helpful timeline in Mitzvah Planning Timeline Part II.
September 29th, 2009
Our Mitzvah Finds are fun, no? We love when we hear from you that you really love them too! We thought we’d recap on a few Mitzvah Finds we’ve talked about in past newsletters, just in case you missed them. Enjoy!
Theme Naps – Oh, we like innovative! And these “stand-up” napkins from ThemeNaps.com are napkins that also serve as table decor.
So cute! So smart! ThemeNaps.com offers several collections for all different themed parties and we think they are all so pleasing to the eye. Check out this Mitzvah Find at ThemeNaps.com. Rumor has it ThemeNap has Mitzvah-specific designs in the works; call for details.
Fashionable Earplugs – Do you feel like the kids’ music can get a little loud? Especially when a DJ is in charge? Do not worry! Earplugs by JenGen will help tone down the music while still having you look quite stylish. The Website offers a variety of decorative earplugs. There are jeweled earplugs, earplugs with tassels and earplugs with decorative butterflies. Most sets cost around $5.
Earplugs with tassels; similar to those worn by Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Big Posters, Big Impact – We found a fabulous Website — BigHugeLabs.com — that will help you make personalized and custom “Coming Soon” movie posters, mosaic posters, trading cards, magazine covers and much more. All design work can be done right on the site. There are how-to videos available to walk you through the process which is always nice! Prices vary.
Editor’s Note: Our story on Big Huge Labs originally ran in our Monday, November 10, 2008 newsletter. Just last week, Big Huge Labs was mentioned as part of the Mitzvah Family Spotlight: The Adler Family. Check out how this real Mitzvah Family used this product as part of their real event!
September 29th, 2009
Oh, the Oscars! We watch for the awards and the speeches, but let’s face it, we also watch for the fashion. And because what we see on the red carpet may very well indicate what we wear to upcoming Mitzvahs, we think a Mitzvah style Red Carpet Wrap-Up is in order.
To help us get a handle on what was hot and was not at last night’s Academy Awards, we have enlisted the help of Colin Megaro, fashion stylist and founder of Planet Style Concierge. Colin attended last night’s APLA’s Oscar Viewing Party, the 8th annual “The Envelope Please” event, which was hosted by Jennifer Love Hewitt. He sent us his thoughts via Blackberry. (Oh we love technology!)
Penelope Cruz won an Oscar last night for Best Supporting Actress
“The trends this year were off the shoulder, metallic, ruffled and full of sex appeal,” Colin reports from Los Angeles. He felt that the winning looks were brought to us by the following celebs. He has given us his Cliff Notes on why they were the best dressed of the evening:
Robin Roberts hosted ABC’s red carpet pre-show
Robin Roberts – Survived cancer and looks amazing in a J Crew coral gown.
Freida Pinto – Brought light to India cinema with Slumdog Millionaire. Loved her cobalt blue beaded gown.
Penelope Cruz – The perfect elegant princess.
Beyonce Knowles – Another mermaid gown done flawlessly.
Beyonce Knowles was a performer at last night’s Academy Awards
Colin reminds us of why we should pay attention: “The dresses seen at the Academy Awards are about to be copied and worn to events around the world,” he says. Maybe these styles – jewel tones, one-shoulder gowns and full skirts – will be worn to a Mitzvah near you!
September 29th, 2009
As NBC’s TODAY Show reported this morning, the Inaugural clothing choices of Michelle, Malia and Sasha Obama sent clothing retailers into a “fashion frenzy.” Retailers are working ’round the clock to recreate those dresses (and coats) to bring them to a store near you.
So that begs the question – how will Malia and Sasha Obama influence the lives of our daughters? If the Inauguration and the TODAY Show’s style report are any indication, we can look to them for fashion cues. We caught up with Mall of America Trend Specialist Sara Rogers to get her thoughts on how the First Daughters’ clothing choices will influence those of our daughters.
“The Obama girls color choices at the Inauguration were in step with what we’re seeing in children’s and tween clothing,” Sara reports. “This is the season of color, especially uplifting colors like orange and yellow.” Sara also says the trends for girls (and women) are about the details. She sees a lot of embellishments and flourishes, such as ruffles trimming cardigans, and bow details. She also says layering, pattern play and leggings are popular.
J Crew’s girl’s cashmere ruffle cardigan
Sara feels that all eyes have been on the girls since the press started to follow them last summer. “Retailers claim they have sold out of many of the dresses worn by the pair during their father’s election campaign,” Sara explains. “The clothing the girls wore for the Inauguration was designed by Crewcuts from J Crew. In response to the huge demand for the product, there is talk of launching a similar collection in fall 09’ as the designs worn by the girls are one of a kind. This is a testament to the impact of Sasha’s and Malia’s style.”
Beyond their clothing choices, Sara feels attention will also be on their lifestyle choices. “Scores of young girls can relate to the new First Daughters and their quest to have a puppy,” Sara gives as an example. “Many parents welcome the shift away from pop princesses toward such positive role models.”
We wish them well!
September 28th, 2009
When you get the invitation, the information is pretty straightforward. You know who the Mitzvah is celebrating, when and where it will take place, and how to RSVP. What might throw you a curve ball is the dress code. Luxe, no tux? Party Festive? What does it all mean?
We have enlisted the help of NYC-based stylist and fashion publicist Bianca Sultana to help us crack the code. Bianca reminds us that when in doubt, it is always appropriate to ask the host or hostess what works and what doesn’t. But to help us get a handle on the terms, here are Bianca’s definitions for some commonly confusing dress codes:
1. Luxe No Tux: Be bold with your choices! No need for the formalities of black tie, but don’t skimp on fashion! Women: Go for luxurious fabrics and embellishments in long or short. Men: Try a suit sans tie in a metallic thread, or a tuxedo jacket over a black chino.
2. Black Tie Optional: Wear it if you’ve got it! If you own a tux and floor-length gown, wear them. After all, there are few occasions so formal throughout the year. However, if you don’t own a tux, don’t sweat it! Men: A dark suit, collared shirt and tie ought to do. Women: While traditional Black Tie implies a floor length gown, Black Tie Optional is more forgiving and a knee-length frock is fine.
3. Party Festive: Fun and on-point with current trends, like sequin embellishments and full skirts. Party Festive can also leave room for themed dress. For example, for a “garden” Party Festive look, consider a large rimmed hat with a girly floral frock. For a “Valentine’s” Party Festive look, try a dress in pink or red, even embellished with lace or heart accents. Men: Khakis and a blazer are standard and traditional, but for a more daring look, try a colored chino with a sweater and tie. Even a fun sneaker can be dressed up with tailored pants and a vest. Women: Bold colors and accents like an embellished belt, floral touch or hint of sparkle are always festive!
September 28th, 2009
Whether you are planning a small and intimate Bar/Bat Mitzvah or a larger, more lavish affair, you still need to pay for it. And for most of us, that means some financial planning needs to be involved. What are some strategies for planning ahead for your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah? We caught up with Merrill Lynch financial planner and Mitzvah Dad Steven Brett for some pointers. Of course, we could have written a book on the advice he had to offer! But here are a few suggestions to help us all get the ball rolling:
- Start now. “Whether your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah is six months out or six years out, you can start saving now,” says Brett. Of course, the more time, the better, but it is never too late (or too early!) to start thinking about putting money aside. Especially if you have more than one child!
- Look at the big picture. “Planning for your child’s Mitzvah should be one piece of a bigger plan,” Brett says. “With saving for college, retirement, family vacations and other financial demands, there is competition for where to allocate your funds. Figure out what your goals are and what it is you want to save for. Prioritize your goals.”
- Come up with a plan. Where to put your money in order to see it grow depends mostly on your timeline. And this is where an expert like Brett can help, especially when you consider our current economic climate.
- Stick with the plan. Easier said than done, we understand. But if you can create a realistic plan, it is much easier to stick with it. Brett also suggests that as your child matures, you let him or her in on your Mitzvah savings goals. “It is a great way to have your child start to think about being fiscally responsible,” he says.
- Check in. “This is the most important part to financial planning,” Brett says. “You need to evaluate how you are meeting your goals along the way.” If you get off course, then the plan needs to be readjusted. “Financial planning is a work in progress,” Brett says.
Interested in learning more? Contact a financial planner in your area. Or find one on Merrill Lynch’s Website. Steve Brett, who is based in Locust Valley, NY, but has clients all over the country, can be reached at [email protected]. Or feel free to visit Brett’s Website.
