August 26th, 2011
By Stephanie Kepke Kaplan, Boys, Dogs And Chaos
This may strike some of you as odd, but one of the most difficult aspects of planning my son, D’s, Bar Mitzvah has been “the list.” The guest list, that is.
I have to send my invites out in just days and I still haven’t settled on exactly who they are going to. Of course family and close family friends are a given, but there are so many Moms with whom I feel a camaraderie – I can’t possibly invite everyone. So then, where do you draw the line? And, when you draw that line what if people on the invite side talk to people on the non-invite side? Also, if you’re on Facebook, it ratchets up the list dilemma to a whole new level.
When our parents decided with whom to share their simchas, they didn’t have to worry about someone they just couldn’t squeeze onto the guest list seeing pictures of all the people who did make it on the list partying away together. This new twist to party planning causes me a great deal of stress. Before Facebook, one’s social life was pretty much one’s own business. Now, pictures are posted as soon as the event is over and everyone can see who was there – and if you feel you should have been a part of it, well it stings. This isn’t just for teenagers, even grown-ups can feel excluded. Luckily, it generally takes me months to post pictures, if they get up at all. It’s still a concern, though – others may post pictures right away and eventually I’ll post them. So, I needed to come up with some guidelines to try to minimize my guilt and any hurt feelings.
Luckily, D’s Bar Mitzvah is at the end of the year, so right off the bat I was able to eliminate anyone who didn’t invite me. I wasn’t insulted if those I considered inviting didn’t invite me – I understand the constraints of budget when planning a guest list. In this economy, many people invite just close friends and family. It was harder to eliminate others, so instead I set guidelines for who I would include, rather than who I would exclude.
The first criteria for inclusion on my guest list was longevity – anyone who came to my Wedding 15 years ago that I am still friends with (even if we only speak on our birthdays, and through the occasional text, e-mail or Facebook comment) was included. If I can maintain a relationship (as infrequent as it may be, thanks to all of our overstuffed lives) with someone for all of those years (in many cases over a quarter of a century), I want that person celebrating with us. This category includes childhood and college friends, many of whom are far flung. So unfortunately, though I’d love them there, realistically not everyone can make it.
My second criteria was to include those that we go out with socially. Sadly, this isn’t a very large category, since we hardly ever go out. But, there are a few families that we meet for pizza or friends that I will meet for a frozen yogurt once in a while. The tough call was for friends that we used to see, but don’t anymore. I had to draw the line – if it had been more than a year or two, I just couldn’t include them.
My third was the trickiest and certainly the hardest to winnow down – fellow Moms that I chat with on a regular basis. There are so many women that I chat with at school pickup or Hebrew school drop off, women that paid shiva calls when my father passed away and that will pick my kids up in a pinch. I couldn’t possibly include them all, so I decided that if we talk on the phone or text about things that aren’t kid or school related and if we have tried to go out socially, even if we haven’t succeeded, they would get a place on the list. Also, some people landed on the list if they were there for me when my father passed away, even if I don’t see or even speak with them often. But then, there’s the flip side – what if they don’t want an invite? What if they think, “But, we’re not family friends – why are we invited?” (Especially since these friendships tend to wane in the summer and pick up again in the fall – after the invites will have been sent). Well, that’s something that I suppose I can’t control. If someone who receives an invitation and doesn’t want to come – well, that’s what a response card is for. They can simply write, “not attending,” and I, again, will not be offended. Plus, as my brother-in-law reminded me when I asked him if he thought one family would be wondering why they received an invite, “Better for them to wonder why they got invited, than to wonder why they didn’t.”
My mother keeps calling me to find out if I’ve addressed and stamped my invites yet (I found a great font and will save at least $125 by addressing them myself; and if I must say so, the test prints look quite professional). I hate answering her, “no.” So, I really must buckle down and decide exactly who will share this joyous day with us – because in the end, our memories won’t be of the food or the DJ or the decorations, it will be of those that were there with us dancing, laughing and celebrating life.
About Stephanie Kepke Kaplan
Stephanie Kepke Kaplan is a freelance writer and blogger. Before kids she was an arts reporter, covering the Boston music and cultural scene (even though she is a born and bred Long Islander, she lived in Boston for nine years and her first son was born there). Now, she blogs at Boys, Dogs and Chaos (about life with – you guessed it – three boys and two dogs) and Mitzvah Mom. She is also working on a novel about a PTA mom. She has also written for Long Island Parent magazine.
Read Stephanie’s other post here:
Post 1
August 26th, 2011
“Rustic, playful and warm” are the words that inspired this fun “camp” themed Bat Mitzvah luncheon.
Set-up on a property adjacent to the synagogue, this Kiddush luncheon transported everyone to summer camp. One of the highlights included the Bat Mitzvah girl and her friends leading everyone in a round of fun camp songs.
Knowing that the evening party would be chic, cool and modern, the goal was to keep this luncheon understated, natural and kid-oriented, with an abundance of food and fun. Event Coordination and Design by Always RSVP, Tent/Rentals by Classic Party Rentals and Wine Valley Catering provided the food.
All photos by Cantrell Portrait Design.
Chocolate brown carpeting and brown tent-pole covers gave the large tent a cabin-like feel
Camp signage adds to the camp feel
As you might guess, this was a popular station!
Additional hand drawn signage was reminiscent of camp
Long tables set-up “Mess Hall” style were draped with natural linen
Simple but fun log cabin centerpieces complete with pine cones kept the look clean and cute
Yummy brunch items were displayed using organic materials like rocks and wood… keeping it earthy, natural and rustic
What’s camp without lots of bug juice!
Fun tin spatter dishes and mugs (shown above) gave everyone a camp feel while eating and drinking
Kids had lots of activities to do including string friendship bracelets, camp games, crafts, ping pong and volley ball
We can’t wait to see what the evening celebration was like after seeing their camp themed Kiddush. Look for that Mitzvah Inspire story soon.
We thank RSVP Events for sharing this luncheon with our readers.
August 21st, 2011
Our readers can be very resourceful!
A while back we reported on Candle Lighting Picture Cubes, a terrific idea from Jeffrey Klein of East 7th Street Promotions.
Jeffrey Klein made these picture cubes used during the candle lighting ceremony
A Mitzvah Market readers loved this idea and wrote in to tell us that she found similar picture cubes on Stumps Party.
These picture cubes come in many colors and style, click here
If you took a Mitzvah Market idea and made it your own, please let us know at info@MitzvahMarket.com so we can share it with our readers!
August 21st, 2011
We know “sports” is a popular theme at many Bar and Bat Mitzvahs! More specifically, “baseball” is often used in elements throughout these “sports” themed celebrations.
Here are some great ideas we have found to help you hit a home run!
From Bees Cards a beautiful custom invitation
From Urban Coast Design Studio here is another invite we loved
Suite Paperie put together this place card table with wooden trays, paper grass and baseball card runners!
Lindsay Landman Events put together this creative scoreboard used for place cards
CitiField is available when the Mets are not playing. Look at that cool centerpiece!
We featured this will call booth in the Margolis Mitzvah Family Spotlight created by Simon Elliot Events
Give your guests a treat from Cooperstowncookie.com
Hey Cookie! came up with a great cake for a B’nai Mitzvah. One was a fan of the NY Mets. The other a fan of the NY Yankees
The new Yankee Stadium by Cake Fiction
Looking for a baseball related Mitzvah Project idea?
Pitch In For Baseball needs balls, bats and helmets for needs kids
Do you have a great baseball idea? Let us know at info@MitzvahMarket.com.
August 12th, 2011
thecoolestgiveaways.com is on the pulse of what our Bar/Bat Mitzvah kids want for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah favors.
Check out some of their ideas below:
This analog slap watch is the newest, coolest! Waterproof and in a variety of colors, the silicone band slaps to wrap around your wrist. You can imprint on the dial.
Blended design: looks like 6 colors, but with special blending technique you are paying the cost of 3 colors. Call us for more details.
Neoprene Lunch Bags: These are very popular with the kids. Great for late August, September Mitzvah. Kids will love bringing these to school. These come in many colors. The Violet, Blaze Orange, and Electric Blue are our most popular colors.
Laptop Scuba: Great alternative if apparel is not your choice. All the kids have laptops and this would be perfect. Theses come in many colors. The Lime Green, Neon Pink, and Neon Blue are our most popular colors.
Sweatpant: Wildfox inspired design is a favorite designer that all the young celebs wear. Great for the mitzvah who is a fashionista.
Baseball: Adorable new backpack. Great combo for a baseball fan. This also comes in soccer, tennis, golf, football, and basketball. Also great combo for those that don’t want to be caught up in the apparel race.
Tie-Dye: Great daily deal. This is featured on our daily deal section. Shown in tons of colors but if there is a custom color that you like but don’t see, please let us know. It can be done for you.
Leopard Print: All over the stores PINK and the fashion magazines, leopard and animal print are all the rage.
For more information, visit their extended profile page in our Vendor Directory.
August 9th, 2011
Alicia Svigals is a violinist/composer and a founder of the Klezmatics and of the all-women band Mikveh, who is considered by many to be the world’s foremost klezmer fiddler. She has also played with everyone from violinist Itzhak Perlman to Led Zeppelin.
Alicia’s party band gets everyone dancing with klezmer, simkhe dancing music, Israeli folk dance tunes, and high-energy rock, R&B and jazz. The musicians are the top artists on the Jewish music scene.
We spoke with Alicia to learn more about having this type of music at your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah. (Photos below by Jeff Block).
MM: Please describe what you do?
AS: We play the wild and wonderful traditional Jewish party music known as klezmer, and bring a fantastic dance leader who guides the crowd through a ‘mega-hora’ that can last up to an hour. Much more than just circling and lifting the Mitzvah family on chairs, the dancing usually draws in every single person at the party, young and old; the kids in particular love spinning around on a brass plate in the center of the circle and being part of the pinwheel shapes, snaking lines and other formations that our dance master makes happen.
Dance leader Steve Weintraub bottle dances to the live music of Klezmer by Alicia Svigals
MM: How do guests react once the music begins?
AS: Party goers, most of whom have never been exposed to this side of Jewish culture before, describe the parties as the most memorable they’ve ever been to. The feeling of ecstatic celebration in those concentric circles, and the Jewish cultural experience the Mitzvah kids and their friends get out of it, is impossible to put a price on.
Alicia performing with her band
MM: How many Bar/Bat Mitzvahs do you play each year?
AS: We play about 40-50 Mitzvahs a year. We play rock, R&B and jazz in addition to klezmer, and collaborate with DJs and MCs as well — we can bring our own or work with yours. Our dance leader can play party games with the kids too, so a separate MC isn’t necessary.
Moms attempting the Bat Mitzvah Bottle Dance Challenge!
Watch Alicia’s band live in concert on YouTube here.
For more information, call Alicia at: 1 877 KLEZMER
August 7th, 2011
We are all looking for something different when it comes to entertaining the young guests at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration. We think we have found a unique type of favor idea.
Tie Dye Town will help your young guests have a blast designing their own article of clothing to take home with them at the end of the party in a beautiful goody bag!
Choose from over 30 different colors and designs, and print your child’s name and Bar/Bat Mitzvah date on the shirt.
At the end of the party, the kids will get to dress up with colored wigs, tie dye T-shirts and peace sign glasses to take an adorable, memorable picture of the event that will last a lifetime!
For more information, please visit their Website at www.tiedyetown.com.
August 7th, 2011
Mitzvah Market recently visited Unique Accents in Northbrook, Illinois. This store has been providing unusual gifts and home accessories for over 15 years.
We went crazy for Choco Rocks! It looks like a bowl of decorative rocks from a garden, but it’s actually chocolate.
Delicious Choco Rocks
If you are planning a candy or chocolate themed Bar/Bat Mitzvah or are just looking to place something different on the bar during cocktail hour or something to place on your guest’s tables, give this a try.
Many people match M & Ms to their Mitzvah decor. Choco Rocks come in colors too:
Silver Choco Rocks
Pastel Choco Rocks
For more information, contact Gary at Unique Accents.
August 4th, 2011
By Stephanie Kepke Kaplan, Boys, Dogs And Chaos
With less than three months (two months and three weeks to be exact) to go before my son, D’s, Bar Mitzvah and too many things left to check off of my to-do list, I am feeling the crunch of a looming deadline. As a freelance writer, I have always performed much better with a deadline nipping at my heels and perhaps waiting for the last minute to accomplish much of my planning is just my way of taking advantage of this tendency – a deadline makes me sharper, more focused and better able to complete the task at hand in an efficient manner.
As of two weeks ago, the only items checked off of that to-do list were: “Location” and “DJ.” Since then, I have chosen, ordered and even picked up my invitations (from Party City); hired a company to provide photo favors and bought a dress (which, honestly I’m not sure I’m keeping, but it was an insanely good deal, so I couldn’t pass it up). So, that looming “deadline” a mere three months away was a good kick in the pants to get my planning up and running.
But, the adrenaline rush that “crunch time” brings isn’t the only reason for my astounding procrastination – life had simply gotten in the way of planning. My husband and I booked a caterer and a DJ with a comfy cushion of one year ahead of us. I launched a blog, Mitzvah Mom, and quickly churned out my first post about planning on a budget. And then, well things kind of slowed. My father suffered a stroke right before we started planning and passed away just over three months ago after being in and out of the hospital for the previous two months. My dog’s serious illness necessitated numerous vet visits, often weekly. And then, there are the smaller assaults on one’s schedule – countless homework projects, doctors appointments and sporting events that chewed up our time.
Of course everyone faces the latter three obstacles and most manage to navigate their way around them, securing photographers, videographers, favors, etc. and I’m sure I would have, as well – it was my father’s death that threw the planning for a loop. Who really feels like planning a simcha, while mourning a loss? (More on dealing with that in a future blog post…) My niece’s Bat Mitzvah was just four weeks after he passed away – and as wonderful as it was, it showed us exactly how hard it will be celebrating D’s Bar Mitzvah without my father there. So, I put it off. But, with the clock ticking down, I can’t put it off anymore. Even if I wanted to, my mother calls me every day to ask if I’ve finished my guest list or called the photographer or decided on centerpieces.
I will be sharing my experiences with you as I scramble to plan a Bar Mitzvah that D will remember forever, but that won’t break our budget. A Bar Mitzvah that will be meaningful and fun. A Bar Mitzvah that will honor the memories of those who are only there with us in spirit. In other words, I want it to be just perfect. I have given up on some things – I planned on making my own invites, but simply ran out of time. But, I won’t compromise on making it special and affordable (ok, somewhat affordable – the phrase affordable Bar Mitzvah is an oxymoron I’m learning). I promise to share with you the “trials and tribulations” of getting to that almost perfect day (I need to be realistic, of course nothing’s perfect).
My first task as your new guest blogger was to come up with a name – a name that captures the essence and spirit of my planning experience. One title kept popping up in my brain, “On a Wing and a Prayer.” I looked up the origin of the phrase and found that it means, “In poor condition, but just managing to get the job done.” Well, that seemed to sum up my planning experience in a nut shell. I may be beaten up, but I will get the job done, even if I’m up until 3:00 am the night before the shindig stuffing favors in bags and rearranging seating charts. I hope I won’t be, but if I am, you can be sure I’ll share it with you, so perhaps you can learn from whatever mistakes I may have made to lead me to that bleary eyed state.
Please, feel free to share your own ideas or to ask any questions about “speed planning.” And remember, relax and enjoy this time – no matter how many items are left unchecked on your to-do list.
You can reach Stephanie at info@MitzvahMarket.com.
A reader responds to the first post:
“Dear Stephanie, Just read your new Blog at Mitzvah Market!!!! I loved it… I laughed and smiled throughout … and cried too about the parts about your Dad. (may he rest in peace) It was very touching. Stephanie, I truly enjoy the way you write, what a gift you have. Thank you for sharing your experiences, I have learned a great deal already! Good luck with your new blog and with all the plans your making for D’s big day, I am happy for you… It will be a wonderful day, please God. Enjoy this special time in your life! Love Always, Julie Ann Golombek”
About Stephanie Kepke Kaplan
Stephanie Kepke Kaplan is a freelance writer and blogger. Before kids she was an arts reporter, covering the Boston music and cultural scene (even though she is a born and bred Long Islander, she lived in Boston for nine years and her first son was born there). Now, she blogs at Boys, Dogs and Chaos (about life with – you guessed it – three boys and two dogs) and Mitzvah Mom. She is also working on a novel about a PTA mom. She has also written for Long Island Parent magazine.
August 2nd, 2011
When it came time to start planning for Arielle Dukofsky’s Bat Mitzvah, she had built-in experts!
Her parents are Patti and Gregg Dukofsky, who are the owners of Interactive Entertainment Concepts, a full service event production company.
They celebrated her Bat Mitzvah on October 23, 2010, at Cold Spring Country Club in Cold Spring Harbor, New York.
Arielle had an “A-List” Hollywood theme complete with a sponsored step-n-repeat, “live” simulcast arrival and interactive VIP area.
All party photography was done by Interactive Entertainment Concepts and the rest of the vendor information is at the bottom of this spotlight.
Pictured left (L-R): Dad Gregg, Bat Mitzvah girl Arielle and Mom Patti.
Her invitation was created by Interactive Entertainment Concepts and looked like a ticket to a celebrity event.
Arielle’s colors of vibrant purple, lime green and turquoise blue were used throughout her celebration and on her invitations
Mom Patti wore a gun metal beaded gown from a boutique in Commack, New York and Bat Mitzvah girl Arielle wore a vibrant purple dress from Outrageous Boutique in Plainview, New York.
Mom Patti and Bat Mitzvah girl Arielle share a special moment
Dad Gregg was very involved with the planning and creative concepts for Arielle’s party. They used crystals and specialty lighting along with her A-List logo as part of the decor.
Signage featured Arielle’s logo and colors
The linens were in bright purple
Crystals adorned many of the tables
A branded light-up bar was part of the decor
A lounge area for the young guests
Guests watched a “live” simulcast as Arielle arrived in her limo with bodyguards for the premiere of her new movie, “The Bat Mitzvah.”
The entrance to Cold Spring Country Club featured signage and velvet ropes
Even the license plate featured “A-List!”
Bodyguards accompany Arielle for her arrival
Here she is!
Paparazzi greets Arielle as she arrives!
Arielle makes her entrance as MC Marco directs the crowd
Arielle’s entrance video opened with a Brady Bunch theme song and was a parody of the Rocky movie.
Watch her video here.
IEC is known for their creative extra entertainment and Arielle’s party was filled with lots of fun surprises.
There was a “Black Light” show performance after dinner. Guests were given white gloves and those glowed along with the dancers outfits
Guests also enjoyed a Jai Ho performance from IEC specialty performers
Arielle standing with a “live” strolling dessert table
Arielle’s party also featured an interactive game area featuring some of the games below:
Guests could also enjoy a swing outside! Above is “Arielle” from The Little Mermaid who interacted with guests as a play on the Bat Mitzvah girl’s name
Arielle shares a special moment with her Dad Gregg.
Arielle’s friends received a purple zip-up sweatshirt created by IEC complete with her logo.
Starbucks sponsored Arielle’s celebrity event and her step and repeat signage. As guests left they were offered Vivianos and Frappacinos with coffee and tea served Starbucks style along with Arielle’s logo.
The swag bags feature the kids sweatshirts, t-shirts and jewelery favors
Although Mom Patti plans Bar/Bat Mitzvahs as her career, it’s different when the celebration is for your own child. She has this advice.
“Make sure you are organized and think ‘out of the box.’ Also try not to sweat the small stuff!”
The following vendors helped to make Arielle’s celebration special. If you give any of them a call, please be sure to tell them you heard about their services on MitzvahMarket.com.
Venue: Cold Spring Country Club
Party Planner: Danielle Richter and Mom Patti, Interactive Entertainment Concepts
Music Entertainment: MC Marco, Interactive Entertainment Concepts
Favors: Interactive Entertainment Concepts
Arielle’s Dress: Outrageous Boutique, Plainview, NY
Invitations: Interactive Entertainment Concepts
Cake: Cold Spring Country Club
Decor/Florist: Interactive Entertainment Concepts
Hair/Make-up: NV in Huntington
Party Security: Party Police, 516-697-7206, lipartypolice@aol.com
