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Lisa Ivler Events recently helped plan Benjamin Paradise’s Labor Day weekend Bar Mitzvah celebration at Stone House at Stirling Ridge in Warren, New Jersey.
Pictured above: The Paradise family
This was the third date for this celebration and once rescheduled for the month of September, Lisa knew she had to make many changes. The lounge furniture was removed so all kids could safely sit at tables and masks were readily available for guests making sure everyone wore them the entire party unless eating or drinking. Only family members helped out with the horah and non-family guests watched the candle lighting ceremony from their seats without going up to light a candle. Xplosive Entertainment provided the music outside with an area for the MC and dancers to perform, but no dance floor.
Although not your usual Bar Mitzvah celebration, Mom Jennifer said, “We had an amazing “Covid-friendly’ Bar Mitzvah and Lisa helped to make it all happen! Before and during the event, Lisa focused on all the vendors allowing us to enjoy the party and she even helped remind everyone to keep on their masks. She assisted as we re-imaged/executed all the typical Mitzvah activities in a new safe way. She was so easy to work with and really made the entire evening memorable.”
Benjamin loves money and is interested in investing so the theme was a no-brainer for this family! It really was all about the Benjamins!
Party Planner: Lisa Ivler, Lisa Ivler Events, 973-826-2108
Music Entertainment: Xplosive Entertainment, 732-866-1620
Logos and branding: Amy Wohl, FabuDesigns.com, 312-513-1698
Decor: Debbie’s Designs, 973-696-7930
Favors/Masks/Hand Sanitizer: Swish, 917-907-0402
Photographer: Stark Studio, Linda Stark, 973-227-7878
Venue: Stone House at Stirling Ridge, 908-754-1222
Mechanical Bull and Casino games: Royal Entertainment, 973-826-7011
In March 2020, Ethan Diamondstein’s Bar Mitzvah plans came to a screeching halt, a week before the event, due to COVID. Like many other families, the Diamondsteins decided to reschedule and picked a date in November, hoping for the best. Over the summer they realized that November was likely not going to be much different so they decided to move forward with a backyard Bar Mitzvah being able to accommodate more people than their Temple would allow in the sanctuary.
Pictured above: Ethan with his parents, brother and sister.
Mom Rebecca tells Mitzvah Market, “There were a lot of firsts and unknowns going into this process. Our two biggest concerns were how to figure out and manage the technology required to pull off the event and how will it be for Ethan to have the clergy not here with us?”
In the end Ethan did an amazing job, as they knew he would. After their backyard Zoom service, they had a total of 27 in the backyard, including all 6 of his grandparents, a couple of cousins, one aunt and uncle and a few of his friends. Everyone sat socially distanced and just with their families.
Let it go. Even if you are planning for a big party sometime in the future (which we might still do) – don’t “save it all for then.” You are celebrating their accomplishment from now and let them see and feel it. Remember what is most important. Decide what means the most to you and to your child and build the celebration around that.
For his Mitzvah Project, Ethan spent two years volunteering at Cornerstone at Canton, a Senior Living Facility for Adults with Dementia. He also has been volunteering at the Newton Food Pantry for 4 1/2 years. When his March date fell through, the family donated a ton of food that they had gathered to use as a sculpture – and donated it all to the food pantry. Ethan is now on the Teen Advisory Council of the Newton Food Pantry.
Venue: Family backyard
Party Planner: Chrissie Sue Chubka, Events by Chrissie Sue, 978-621-5932
Zoom Mitzvah Production: Shana Gondelman, 617-201-7499
Photographer: Robert Castagna, 617-833-9271
Invitations: Greenvelope.com
Caterer: Rusell Morin, Morins.com, 888-552-7822
Flowers: Red Fire Farm, 413-467-7645
Folded Books: JoJosReticules, Etsy
Logo: Logo Design Emily Hoadley, 917-696-1749
Masks: Masks by All Sportswear, 617-244-4220
Suits: Simon & Sons, 781-559-3212
Hair/Make-up: Traveling Beauty To You, 617-966-8572
Tent: Come Rain or Shine Tent Works, 508-620-1961
Food Truck: Cookie Monstah, 978-539-8564
As the B’nai Mitzvah date for their youngest two children approached, the Lantzman family knew they had to rescheduled due to COVID. Later in the summer, they celebrated Hunter and Kai’s (featured above L-R) with a Zoom service on a Friday night in their living room. After the service they invited all local guests to a “Greet & Treat.” Cars arrived in their driveway and the kids got out to enjoy a Kona Ice treat and to write messages on their sign-in letters that were set up on the driveway.
The next evening, they celebrated their B’nai Mitzvah and were able to read their torah and haftorah portions from their original June date. Immediately following the service they had a small backyard gathering with immediate family and very limited friends. A SPACE Kitchen food truck provided dinner in individual portions and Kona Ice and Lexylicious food trucks provided individual desserts. There were tents, tables and chairs set up in the backyard, along with socially distanced lawn games to keep the kids busy. They also set up an inflatable movie theater to show the montage and then a movie so everyone could stay and hang out longer. In advance of the backyard celebration, they asked everyone sign an electronic card to the kids through Kudoboard and had all the great pictures and messages on display for all to see.
Mom Zanna says, “Given the COVID situation and the uncertainty of the times we find ourselves in, you should definitely be flexible while also finding unique ways to make your children feel special after all the hard work they put in to study for their special day.”
Kai and Hunter collected monetary donations over $700 and also collected used soccer equipment for Beyond the Walls that operates soccer camps in Guatemala City, Guatemala for children that live on the garbage dump. Kai was adopted from Guatemala and Hunter plays competitive soccer and this charity was the perfect fit for them.
Venue: Family backyard
Food: SPACE Kitchen, 201-567-3810
Invitations: EventPrints, 404-745-9590
Photographer: Lou, JanPress Photo Media, 973-992-8812
Music Entertainment: Hunter’s spotify playlist
Montage/Logos: Alyssa Rosania, Thousand Word Montages
Kippot: MayanHands.org
Dessert food trucks: Kona Ice Truck, 908-425-0320, Lexylicous, 732-505-5400
Dresses: Hunter’s party dress, Envie Our Style, 973-671-8883, Zanna’s dress, Bernsteins, 732-516-1112
Make-up: Danielle Recchoa
Hair: Stephanie Thomas
Electronic messageboard: Kudoboard.com
The Friedman family (pictured above) successfully hosted a hybrid/in-person Bar Mitzvah event that was not only “covid legal” but actually “covid safe” for their son Jason. They were very clear in what they expected of guests and their guests complied. Mom Meredith explains further, “I was very specific, no hugging, even in pictures – with anyone outside your household.” She continues, “It wasn’t nearly as awkward as I had feared and it went by so fast. We also only kept it to around 2 hours – again for safety.”
Their Bar Mitzvah service consisted of approximately 30 guests (10 households) outdoors in the garden of their synagogue. Immediately following, they took those same 30 guests plus one more family to a celebration at Cal Shakes, a local outdoor theatre venue in Orinda, California. The space has large picnic tables spread far apart from one another, and each household had their own table for social distancing. One table was even a guest of ONE! Each household’s meal and drinks were pre-set in picnic baskets before their arrival.
In addition to lunch, they had a hybrid in-person/zoom celebration hosted by their DJ. In a short and condensed format, the celebration included a welcome speech, a sand ceremony (similar to a candle lighting), a mother/son dance, and a modified hora. The Bar Mitzvah boy was lifted into a chair, but there was no group dance in a circle.
To encourage cooperation by the “teens,” each was invited to attend with a parent/chaperone. Everyone who attended seemed to really enjoy the opportunity to not only celebrate Jason, but to also spend quality time with their families in a unique social setting where it felt OK to relax and have fun in public with others. A unique situation during the current world conditions.
Having a “hybrid” event was more complicated than you would think, both technically and emotionally. Running a zoom only event from indoors is fairly straightforward, but trying to incorporate a two-way feed of video and audio to guests both on zoom and in person really requires an AV expert, so be sure to hire one – even if it’s in addition to a DJ. Have backup systems in place to record your event, even if the professionals appear to have it covered. (Anyone can record video on their own computer screen using simple free programs like Quicktime.) What we’re trying to accomplish requires a huge amount of bandwidth and data – more than many laptops can handle. Don’t forget to “visit” with your zoom guests, which can be hard to remember to do if you’re also hosting live guests. Think of them as another table at the event, grab a laptop, and sit down with them for a few minutes. We didn’t think to do this, and regret that we missed out on that interaction. This will allow zoom guests to feel more like participants and less like spectators.
Jason designed and built face shields using acetate and foam for use as PPE. He made over 30 face shields and sold them locally for $10-$15 each. Between sales and additional donations, he collected $500 through a Go Fund Me to support the Contra Costa Food Bank, that feeds over 1000 children, seniors, and family every week.
Venue: Cal Shakes, 510-548-9666
Party Planner: Simcha Sisters, 925-487-5009
Music Entertainment: AG Productions, 925-322-0849
Photographer: Clayton Mitchell, 510-812-8887
Food: Catering by Wilma Lott, 925-372-8612
Invitations: Simply To Impress, 800-779-6177
Decor: Balloon Thrills, 925-383-6961
Rentals: C&M Party Props, 925-934-3181
Sign-In: Photo Picture Mat from Michaels
Dress: Designs 2 Consign, 925-247-5623
Suits: Men’s Warehouse
Our overall mission is to use soccer as the vehicle for children to rise out of poverty through education, self-empowerment and sport in Cameroon, Africa.
Like many families, the Rothschilds had to postpone their son Ben’s Bar Mitzvah due to COVID-19. Their original date of June 6, 2020 was moved to August 29, 2020. The Bar Mitzvah service was scheduled to be outdoors at their Temple but due to Hurricane Laura they made a last minute switch becoming the first indoor service at Westchester Reform Temple since March.
Pictured above: Sister Sydney, mom Elana, Bar Mitzvah boy Ben and Dad Peter with a rainbow cake from Carlo’s Bakery.
As the Bar Mitzvah date was approaching and with only 2 weeks to go, Mom Elana made the decision to hire Melisa Imberman, The Event of a Lifetime. She tells Mitzvah Market, “I thought I had planned for everything, but Melisa knew exactly what I didn’t think of.” She continues, “Melisa and her team pulled everything together and gave me peace of mind to enjoy the day. I’m not sure what we would have done without the tent, fans and generator. They were always thinking and one step ahead and gave our family exactly what we needed!”
After postponing to a new date and then being affected by a hurricane, Mom Elana told Mitzvah Market, “We used the phrase “Let’s Roll With It” on the back of the t-shirts. This is the best advice we could give at this time. Nothing will be as planned or expected, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a wonderful, meaningful and loving event!” Most importantly, at the end of the day Ben said, “My Bar Mitzvah was lit!” That’s all that matters!
Ben volunteered at the JCCMW for the past year in the social skills group with a social worker helping out with the children. He also helped out with the monthly teen program where special needs teens get a night out away doing fun activities such as watching a movie or playing board games.
Party Planner: Melisa Imberman, The Event Of A Lifetime, 914-762-5770, 212-251-0163
Photographer: Chad David Kraus Photography, 917-532-3478
Music Entertainment: ESP Creative, MC Rae Rae, 212-844-9954
Favors: Charles Products, 301-881-1966
Invitations: Invitations and More by Sharon Sohl, 914-804-7575
Cake: Carlo’s Bakery ordered via Goldbelly
Caterer/Boxed Lunches: Standing Room Only, 914-472-3002
Florist: House of Flowers, 914-698-2522
Sign-in Board: Canvas Kudos Shop, Etsy
Tent: Atlas Party Rentals, 800-695-6565
Bathroom Trailer: A Royal Flush, 877-812-4453
Pizza Truck: Abeetz, 845-590-7307
Ice Cream Cart: Penny Licks, 914-525-1580
Dresses: Bloomingdales online
Tailor: Haute Hamper, 888-982-5326
Hair: Plushblow, 914-472-1112
Kippah: Kippot World, 305-932-5472
Kombert Caterers in Oceanside, New York is always thinking about their Bar and Bat Mitzvah customers and what type of celebration will work best for their family. These last few months have been difficult for those with previously scheduled Bar or Bat Mitzvah dates. Many have continued with their service, but put the celebration on hold. Now there’s a new and exciting way for your 14 year old to celebrate!
Introducing…#FUN14!
Learn more about how Kombert Caterers can help with your event:
Visit their extended profile page and send them a message now!
Bar and Bat Mitzvahs of 2020 will never be forgotten. From virtual services to drive-by parades, Jewish families are finding new and meaningful ways to celebrate their simchas in the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic. As cities across the country begin to slowly “open up,” parents are finding creative ways to stage smaller, socially distant celebrations.
Following is the first hand account of St. Louis Mitzvah Mom Suzanne Epstein-Lang on her daughter Annabelle’s re-imagined Mitzvah celebration:
I found a way to “go big or go home” on a virtual service and micro Bat Mitzvah party! The most meaningful part, of course, was the service but we also had a series of memorable, micro celebrations.
Annabelle had been dreaming of her Bat Mitzvah party theme for a decade – a play on Disney’s “It’s A Small World” had morphed over time into a vintage, steampunk travel party with a hot air balloon logo.
Our original Mitzvah plans were to kick of with a Mediterranean Shabbat Dinner, followed by a Havdallah ceremony at our synagogue. We had reserved a hospitality suite at the hotel for our guests with a “Passage to India” theme. Vintage trolleys had been hired to whisk kids from the service to the reception, at our country club, for dancing and adventurous eats from each continent. Sunday brunch would have been at the hotel which has a lovely ballroom.
I am not going to sugar-coat this part: the first thing we had to do was grieve for what was not going to happen. Our Bat Mitzvah girl Annabelle took it in stride while I struggled. I mostly got over it and got to work. The first and most important call was to the synagogue. It was early March so the clergy was not ready to commit to going forward, canceling, Zooming, opening the doors, or anything else. We decided, however, that no matter what, we were going to proceed religiously in some way on our scheduled date. We knew that we would be loved and supported by the shul and the one thing I never doubted was that our rabbis and tutor would make that happen (and they did). We just didn’t know what it would look like yet.
We already had invitations, photography, floral, videography, entertainment, flipbooks, swag and large decor booked, so throughout the month of April I was in contact with our many vendors. Eventually, I took a hard look at what deposits we had, what we arranged on handshakes, what we already paid in full, and what would even make sense to still use in the future if we were having a party only later (for instance, we would no longer need printed yarmulkes or transportation from the service).
By May 20th, when our city announced what phase one would include, I fully pivoted to the new plan– leaving me three weeks to execute something different! At this point the rabbis said we had the go ahead on the Zoom and that they would run it, though they would not be there physically.
Annabelle’s service was held on her original date in June, in our backyard. Technically it was a Zoom between our family and the rabbis that was broadcast over YouTube. We were absolutely committed to having the event outside so that Annabelle’s grandparents could be with us in person.
Simply put: Our daughter became a Bat Mitzvah and it was what we hoped–authentic and ethical. A small group gathered under a beautifully decorated tent. Thanks to our young Rabbi Daniel’s detailed knowledge of technology/broadcasting paired with our amazing on-site tech person, we were broadcast to 300 living rooms and at least two poolsides we know of! The coolest part was having the prayers loaded onto the screen and integrating pre-recorded video from family members. For those watching at home, there was great production value because of the special videos and slides, while those of us standing by just got a look at our sweet girl doing what she was prepared to do– lead us in a real service.
When the service was over we were surprised that the synagogue had a virtual aufruff for us. We had no idea! Then it was off to meet the trolleys that were initially intended to take us to the party. Instead, we were joined by 10 of Annabelle’s closest friends for a candy crawl! We stopped at five locations staffed by friends, passing out candy from different continents. The route was perfectly timed and got us back to the park exactly one hour and 15 minutes later (given the 5 minutes it took to load on the front end, it literally was around the world in 80 minutes).
The family headed back to our backyard, which had been flipped for dinner. We enjoyed a nice night under the stars and the sunset provided a much needed cool-down. Annabelle changed clothes and it was just like the most relaxing backyard barbecue we ever had.
Our neighbors stayed out in the yard with us the whole time. It took every bit of my strength not to have some family friends come over after dinner for drinks as well. We just knew that it was all or nothing on the friends, and if we invited everyone we’d have a hundred people. Since we firmly believe we should not be doing at this time, we had no additional friends. This was the only hard part for me–everything else was just perfect!
We could have held a Zoom mitzvah for free (provided you have an existing computer and internet connection) and call it a day, but in this house we celebrate big and we honor our commitments. It is our yin and yang–beauty and detail that some may find silly, but all mixed up with old fashioned simple values about kindness and honoring our word.
The result was that we got our big day, small-style, and helped many small businesses with whom we already had an arrangement. We think the whole thing was real, beautiful, ethical, and authentic.
Everything was so great, in fact, that I don’t know that we should even taint it with another celebration. At the moment we have outstanding deposits for DJ, flip books paid in full, videography paid in full, a deposit on a trolley from a different company, and a deposit on the ballroom that was supposed to be for Sunday brunch. It would be totally possible to throw a small party given all of these things, or we could reschedule the big party, but in some ways I kind of feel like that almost takes away from the beautiful moments that we had on Saturday. I am looking into ways to schedule something special with the camp friends which is the only huge missing piece at this time.
If you are on the fence (and if you are in a part of the country where you can have even 20 to 30 people in masks at a safe distance), I would say do it! Small is the new big! Celebrate now and fully!
Vendor Directory
The Lang family worked with the following Vendors for their originally planned celebration as well as the micro party that was held in June. If you contact them, please let them know you read about their services on Mitzvah Market.com.
Invitations: M. Haley Design, 636-352-2102
Food Truck for At-Home Celebration: Wok and Roll STL, 314-724-3424
Bar Cart: Tipsy Pony Party Bar, 314-322-1812
Caterer for At-Home Sunday Brunch: J David Events, 314-323-6538
Event Decor: Decorum, 314-447-4000
Event Planning: Simcha’s Events, 314-458-5463
Photographer: L Photographie, 314-449-8124
Videographer: Westview Media, 314-726-622
Florist: Thorn Studio, 314-808-0706
Face Masks: BowlingShirt.com, 800-444-1685
Swag: Pillsbury Marketing, 314-997-6666
Trolley: St. Louis Carriage and Trolley, 314-621-3334
Hair and Makeup: Malorie Harris, 314-265-7542
Tech/Editing Services: Videocakes Productions, 314-709-7626
International Candy: Global Foods Market, 314-835-1112, Cost Plus World Market, 314-918-7800
Service: Originally to be held at Central Reform Congregation
Shabbat Dinner: Originally planned at Parker’s Table Wine, 314-645-2050
Reception Venue: Originally planned at Westwood Country Club
Hotel/Hospitality Suite/Sunday Brunch: Originally planned at The Cheshire Inn, 314-647-7300
Music/DJ: Originally booked with Utopia Entertainment, 636-532-2777
Flipbooks: Originally booked with Flipping Good Times, 573-437-4577
For more information on planning a Micro Mitzvah in your area, join one of Mitzvah Market’s 17 regional Facebook Groups where thousands of parents are discussing how to modify celebrations to meet social distancing requirements in their area.
If your Bar Bat Mitzvah date has been postponed, can you still use the swag and giveaways with your original date? The answer is: YES!
This question was asked in Mitzvah Market’s Philadelphia Area Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning Group on Facebook. Vendors and parents agree that you can and should use any Mitzvah related merchandise that you’ve already purchased/printed. Family and friends will all understand the situation and the swag with the original date will become a fun conversation piece.
If you do decide to reprint your favors, vendors may offer discounts or agree to reproduce the items at cost. For other families, simply putting a spin on the original party swag feels right.
See below for clever ideas to re-use or re-imagine your Bar Bat Mitzvah swag:
If you would like to share your Bar Bat Mitzvah postponement idea, let us know at info@mitzvahmarket.com. For ideas on how to handle your postponement invite, check out How to Word Bar Bat Mitzvah Postponement Cards.
Parents are discussing and getting advice about all types of Bar Bat Mitzvah issues in Mitzvah Market’s 17 regional Facebook Groups around the country. Join here.
