How much money should you gift to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah teen on their big day? Whether you’re attending your first B Mitzvah or you’re a seasoned pro, knowing what to gift a teen of honor can oftentimes be tricky or confusing. While many guests close to the celebrating family will give a variety of physical presents, like jewelry or toys, for the average B Mitzvah guest, cash or a check is an appropriate gift. If you’re not comfortable giving cash, a gift card to a store or favorite restaurant can also be a great option.
Before determining how much money you should give, there is one significant tradition to be aware of when gifting money of any kind at a B Mitzvah or any Jewish celebration. The number 18 is symbolic in Judaism, because in ancient Jewish numerology (called Gematria) it represents the word “chai,” which means “life”. Because of this, it is common to give money in multiples of 18 as a way to symbolize the wish for a long and prosperous life for the B Mitzvah teen. If possible, it is best to give a gift in a multiple of 18, like $54 or $72.
But how much money you should give? This can depend on a few things, like how close you are to the B Mitzvah teen, how many members of your family are invited, and how long you’ve known the teen.
If you’re not particularly close to the Mitzvah teen (think distant family friend or relative), a gift of around $25-$50 is appropriate. If you’re closer to the teen, a gift in the range of $50-$100 is more appropriate.
The same goes for if your child has been invited to attend a classmate or friend’s B Mitzvah- if this is someone your child has not known for long or doesn’t know very well, a gift of $18 or $36 is plenty. If it’s a close friend, a higher amount of money or a gift your child picks out may be more appropriate. Of course, these amounts can vary depending on your financial situation and what you feel comfortable giving.
If you’re attending the Bar or Bat Mitzvah with your spouse or partner, it’s also important to consider how many members of your family are invited. If it’s just the two of you, the gift can be on the lower end of the range mentioned above. However, if you’re bringing your kids or other family members along, you may consider increasing the gift amount to reflect that.
If you’ve known the Bar or Bat Mitzvah teen for a long time and have a special connection with them, it’s also appropriate to give a larger gift. This can be in the range of $100-$200 ($180 is standard in this range) or even more, depending on your financial situation.
Of course, the most important thing to bear in mind while gift giving is the sentiment and meaning behind your gift. Even if you’re not able to give a large amount of money, a heartfelt card or small token of your appreciation can mean just as much. And know- no one will judge or think poorly of you if you give a modest gift. They’ll just be happy that you were able to celebrate their big day with them!
One thing to avoid when giving a B Mitzvah gift is giving a check that hasn’t been filled out. It’s important to fill out the check with the intended amount before giving it as a gift. This way, the teen can easily deposit the check and use the money for whatever they want or need.
Another thing to keep in mind is that if you’re unable to attend the B Mitzvah in person, it’s still customary to send a gift. You can either send cash or a gift card in the mail or order a gift online to be delivered to the teen’s home.
In the end, the amount you give as a Bar or Bat Mitzvah gift should be based on your relationship with the teen and their family, your financial situation, and what you feel comfortable giving. It’s important to remember that the thought behind the gift is what truly matters, and the teen will appreciate any gift given with love and appreciation.