Archive for November, 2017
November 30th, 2017
A Passion For Fashion!
By Madeleine Deliee
For a fashion maven like Sydney Grishman, there was no question that her Bat Mitzvah would be totally on point. Working with Jessica Garmise from Out of the Box Creations, she developed a just-her-style theme: Style by Sydney. This special concept allowed Sydney to incorporate many of her favorite fashion items into the party decor, including shoes, purses, jewelry and cosmetics.
Guests got the fashion-forward vibe as soon as they received their invitation, which featured the host’s favorite color — purple. The color was prevalent in many elements of the occasion, tying together all the pieces that so clearly said “Sydney” — not the least of which was the giant magazine cover featuring the event logo, also designed by Jessica to capture the fresh and fabulous tone.
Photos by White Light Photography & Video
Friends and family signed the cover, bearing the image of a radiant Sydney, as a guest-book-style memento of the day. When they were ready to be seated, guests located their tables on price-tag style cards attached to sunglasses monogrammed with Sydney’s initials. Sydney herself was glamorous in a strapless, floor length, purple gown enhanced with sparkling silver accents. There was no mistaking the star of the occasion — or her passion for fashion.
The celebration of style was, fittingly, front and center throughout the event. The decorations included centerpieces featuring Sydney Style Chanel bottles in one room and purple high heeled shoes, sunglasses, jewelry, perfume and shopping bags in another. Other décor included several different Style by Sydney pillows, votive holders and napkins imprinted with “Style.” The luxe cake also used color to create a splash with three tiers of purple sweetness crafted from fondant and decorated with white piped embellishments and purple and white flowers. The surrounding display of pillar candles with purple and silver accents provided the last touch of fabulousness. Of course, a fashion-focused celebration requires seriously stylish swag. Sydney gifted her guests with two kinds of sweatshirts, two kinds of t-shirts, hats and a long sleeve shirt bearing the Style by Sydney logo. The MC, Carl from ET, kept the party going with games, such as Pop a Shot, during the cocktail hour. Then, once the party really got going, Sydney had Carl continue spoiling her guests with Kylie Jenner lip kits and retail gift cards while they got crazy on the dance floor.
A party like this doesn’t just happen — from designing the concept to executing the last fluff of powder on the Bat Mitzvah girl herself, many hands were involved, and certainly coordinating all of those moving pieces can be a headache. But planning the event should be more fun than stress focusing on the joy of the occasion and creating the real-life realization of this dream day.
As Gillian Grishman, Sydney’s mom, says, “My advice would be to just enjoy this process. There is so much planning that goes into it and you shouldn’t be stressed!” She was happy with the way it all turned out and, most importantly, Sydney certainly seemed to feel that the occasion was picture-perfect.
The following vendors helped to make the celebration special:
Venue: Temple Avodah, Oceanside, NY
Caterer: Kombert Caterers, 516-678-6161
Music Entertainment: ET Events Group, 516-826-6900
Photographer/Videographer: White Light Photography & Video, 516-933-3399
Logo, Sign-In Board, Decor, Flowers: Out of the Box Creations, 917-518-9389
Favors: Gotham T-Shirts, 516-676-0900
Invitations: Dear Friends, 516-456-2514
Mom’s Dress: Runway Couture, 516-308-4639
Suits for family members: Saks Fifth Avenue
Hair/Makeup: Head Rush Salon, 516-280-5797
Get a copy of Mitzvah Market Magazine here.
November 27th, 2017
The Pernick family celebrated their daughter Molly’s Bat Mitzvah with a “Mollywood” themed celebration. The Coral House in Baldwin, New York was the perfect setting. The Hollywood theme was full of creative decor and special touches.
Pictured above Bat Mitzvah Girl Molly waiting for her party to start.
The photographer was Dream Events and the rest of the vendor information is listed at the end of the spotlight.
Bat Mitzvah Hollywood Style
The star of the night. Molly looking beautiful in her party dress from 2 B Seen
Very chic red converse sneakers completed the look
Molly and Mom Amy are red carpet ready
Bat Mitzvah Service/Mitzvah Project
Pictured L-R: Dad Ira, Bat Mitzvah Girl Molly, Mom Amy and Brother Sam at temple
The kippot were red to match the theme
Molly collected donations for The M.A.C.H.O. Foundation. She chose to raise money to help impoverished children in Africa
Mollywood Decor
Dream Events created the movie premiere decor. Large gold statuettes were placed at the entrance to the ballroom
Nothing says Hollywood like a walk down the red carpet and velvet ropes
Custom gold statues with guests names were used as place cards
The red and black color palette created the perfect Hollywood drama
There were several centerpieces and all captured the theme perfectly
The teen lounge in party colors
A special seating space for Molly and her friends
Mitzvah Entrance and Music
Her friends lined up waiting for her entrance
Molly making her entrance
Belting out a tune with some friends. Dream Events also supplied some great dance floor giveaways including t-shirts with Molly's logo
Mitzvah Moments
Molly and Dad Ira walked out on the dance floor together to share a special dance (https://mitzvahmarket.com/mitzvah-spotlight/family/hollywood-mollywood-themed-bat-mitzvah/)
They had a great time doing it and all their guests loved it!
Special Party Details
The logo was worthy of a star studded evening and used on favors and for the room decor
This modern and acrylic invitation set the tone for a glam party and celebration!
Creative movie themed gift box
Friends signing the door to Molly's bedroom closet which was customized with her logo
Molly pointing to her custom Step-N-Repeat
Mitzvah Friends
"And the winner for best Bat Mitzvah girl of the night goes to... Molly Pernick." She accepted the award surrounded by her friends.
Molly receiving a special gift from her close friend Gianna
Friends also made her this blanket with pictures of fun times they shared
Cake Pop Tower and Candle Lighting
Instead of a cake, Molly chose this awesome cake pop tower. The candle lighting display with luminary statuettes looked great
Andrea Reyes of Doodlebug Delights created cake pops worthy of an Oscar! They were delicious and beautiful
Molly lighting a candle for her brother Sam
Dessert/Exit Treats/Favors
Dunkin' Donuts were a great treat for Molly's guests to enjoy on the ride home
The Good Humor cart was also a big hit!
The swag bags displayed and ready to be picked up by Molly's friends after a great celebration
Vendor Directory
The following vendors helped to make Molly’s Bat Mitzvah special. If you give any of them a call, let them know you read about their services on MitzvahMarket.com
Venue/Caterer/Dunkin’ Donuts/Good Humor: Coral House, 516-223-6500
Photography/Music/Entertainment/Decor/Gift Box: Adam Panetta, Dream Events, 516-442-3731
T-shirt giveaways: Edith Mandel, Promotional Associates, 516-561-0936
Invitation: Ricki Skolnik, 516-374-0015
Cake: Andrea Reyes, Doodlebug Delights, 347-829-9890
Step-N-Repeat: Howard Siegel, National Flag & Display, 212-462-4000
Sign-In Door: Molly’s bedroom door
Dresses for Molly: 2 B Seen, 516-921-5777
Suits for family members: Kenny’s Men and Boyswear, 516-921-2660
Hair/Makeup: Maria Koehler, Wish Upon a Bride
Custom Converse: Kouture Kicks, 516-313-7335
November 27th, 2017
Chelsea Piers Connecticut and their exclusive catering partner and event planner, Nikki Glekas Events, help families bring their vision of their Bar or Bat Mitzvah to life. Nikki and her team work with families to design menus that both kids and adults will find flavorful and delicious and manage every aspect of the event that a client requests from invitations to room décor.
Recently, a family celebrated their son’s Bar Mitzvah at Chelsea Piers Connecticut and came with an idea that Nikki Glekas and her team made into a reality!
Their son loved games like Rubix Cube, Chess, Legos and board games. They wanted a unique design that was both playful and elegant and incorporated his love of games.
The result featured cocktail hour centerpieces created from board games like Monopoly, Scrabble, and Sorry. The kids loved the life-size Chess, giant Jenga, and Wheel of Fortune. They also had a blast playing ping pong, foosball and pop a shot basketball. The airbrush and photobooth stations topped it all off.
Check out this “Game Night” themed celebration by Nikki Glekas, celebrated at Chelsea Piers Connecticut.
Rubix Cube cocktail tables
The kids' lounge area featured primary color pillows and pillows with the party logo
Primary color flower centerpieces brought the room together perfectly
Red, the Bar Mitzvah boy's favorite color, was used in the centerpieces
Chess pieces were projected on the screen for all to see
The Pacman Dance floor was very clever!
The room was playful and elegant
The custom linens matched beautifully
And gorgeous table settings
Wow is all we can say!
Photo Credit: Manolis Klimis
To learn more about Chelsea Piers Connecticut, visit their extended profile page.
November 20th, 2017
Jackson Hochhauser, Jacob Greenberger and Spencer Levine (left to right)
Three Times The Celebration
By Brynne Magaziner
What started as a joke turned into three times the party for three great friends, Jacob Greenberger, Spencer Levine and Jackson Hochhauser of Westport, Connecticut. The “Big 3” shared nearly all aspects of their Bar Mitzvah weekend and their theme tied together the many components of the joint celebration.
Jacob, Spencer and Jackson met through youth soccer, which their dads coached and their families cheered them on from the sidelines. The boys and their families spent countless hours together — sharing family dinners, playing and watching youth sports and taking trips together.
All photos by January Stewart
The three families celebrated together and are closer than ever
Venue Bowlmor in Norwalk, Connecticut
Custom foam fingers with all 3 boys names were used during the entrance
They all went up in the chairs at the same time during the hora
By 4th grade, the moms started talking about their sons’ future Bar Mitzvahs. None of the families belonged to a synagogue and since they were all looking for a nontraditional religious school experience, they jointly hired a private tutor. During the process one of the moms joked, “Wouldn’t it be funny if they shared a Bar Mitzvah?” It actually made a lot of sense to all three moms — the families had similar laid-back styles, the boys’ friends overlapped and they were already studying together once a week. The boys agreed it was an awesome idea so the moms started planning. From there, the idea of the “Big 3” Bar Mitzvah grew.
Logistically, navigating decision making with three different families had its tricky moments. But communication, compromise and knowing what each family felt was important helped the planning go smoothly. The families split most of the costs, but each family also paid for the things that were important to them. Overall, the benefits far outweighed the costs: it took the pressure off each boy to share the big day with two other friends; the moms divided up the work of planning a party, and it drew the families even closer together.
The service and kiddush luncheon were at The Inn at Longshore in Westport, Connecticut, and were for extended family and the boys’ closest friends only — about 200 guests. Then in the evening, there was a party at Bowlmor in Norwalk, Connecticut, which focused more on the kids and included 275 guests.
“The most special part for us was the service,” says Sara Greenberger, Jacob’s mom. “We spent a lot of time putting together both traditional and non-religious readings and considering how to get the extended families of all three boys involved. Because we had a private tutor, we got to make the rules. It turned out warm, informal and completely personalized. It felt like all of us.”
The boys shared all aspects of the weekend from the joint invitation to the service. They even went up on chairs at the same time during the hora. The “Big 3” theme, bright color palette and logo tied the components of the weekend together. The Kiddush luncheon had colored Lucite centerpieces that read “The Big 3,” photos of the boys throughout the years and oversized balloons. The evening party glowed with cosmic bowling, LED furniture and orbs and “Big 3” signage throughout. The families had custom foam fingers made for their grand entrance, with each of the boys’ names written on a finger.
The party closed out the Mitzvah season at their school, so the novelty of the shared Bar Mitzvah and their unique location helped to keep the party exciting. The cocktail hour consisted of bowling and arcade games and then the lanes were switched over to a dance floor. From there it was a traditional party with dancing, games and a montage.
However, their montage was a bit different. The families didn’t want to have their guests sit through three separate montages, so they worked with Josh Parent of Little Birdy Productions to put together a mockumentary style video. It was done in the style of a 30 for 30 ESPN film and helped guests who might only have known one or two of the boys, get to know the others. It had interviews with the boys, family members and friends, plus numerous photos of Jacob, Spencer and Jackson through the years.
It was a memorable night for all three of them, their families and guests. And, the best part about it: the Greenberger, Levine, and Hochhauser families still consider each other great friends after the entire process. They must have done something right!
The following vendors helped to make the celebration special:
Venue: Service/Kiddush luncheon, The Inn at Longshore, 203-701-7150
Party: Bowlmor, 203-838-7501
Party Planner: Arlene Rosenthal, 203-984-0610
Invitations: Out of the Box, 914-934-2323
Favors: CorbinStyle, 914-329-4160
DJ: Angel Morales/ESP Productions, 631-777-4ESP
Photographer: January Stewart, 212-851-6300
Montage: Little Birdy Productions
Brynne Magaziner is the owner and Chief Magic Maker of Pop Color Events, a boutique event planning firm specializing in Bar Mitzvah & Bat Mitzvah event planning in Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia. Visit www.popcolorevents.com for more information.
Get a copy of Mitzvah Market Magazine here.
November 20th, 2017
Want to “wow” your guests with the hottest photo booth on the market today?
With over 15 years of experience in planning Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties, Platinum NYC Events knows how to create a memorable party at an affordable price. They pride themselves on having the newest and most innovative technology to make your party stand out from all the rest.
Platinum NYC Events is a full service entertainment company with meticulous party planners to organize your event, servicing Long Island and the tri-state area. They have DJs, MCs, party motivators/dance teams, photography, videography, photo booths, and exceptional lounge décor and staging. They also offer games, LED dance platforms, LED dance lights and HTC Virtual Reality.
Newest and Hottest Photo Booth – The Mobile Photo Booth
The hottest photo station on the market! The Light Ring Mobile Photo Booth allows people to wirelessly transfer photos from the booth and upload their photos to email, text, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. The ring booth sits on a mobile stand and even has wheels!
Talk about the perfect photo booth for those who love social media. You can take regular pictures, animated GIF’s, Boomerangs and it has tons of funny filters to choose from. It is the best addition to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah or any other party.
For more information about NYC Platinum Events, visit their extended profile page in our Vendor Directory.
November 16th, 2017
The Silverstein family from Weston, Florida celebrated their daughter Gabrielle’s (Gabby) Bat Mitzvah with a fashionably sweet themed celebration. Gabby wanted to include her two most favorite things: fashion and candy. The party, held at the David Posnack Jewish Community Center in Davie, Florida, dazzled party goers with many special DIY touches. Mom Heather started her own company, Gabbylicious Decor and More after creating much of the deliciously sweet and fashionable details.
Pictured above: Bat Mitzvah Girl Gabby
The photographer for Gabby’s pre-shoot was Toni Jade Photography, the party photographer was Victoria Genova Photography. The rest of the vendor information is listed at the bottom of the spotlight.
Bat Mitzvah Style
Gabby is a fashionista and took sewing lessons for 3 years. Here she is with some of the designs she and Mom Heather created and used throughout the party
Gabby wore this pretty blue Bat Mitzvah dress to her service
For her party, she looked great in this chic white cocktail dress
Bat Mitzvah Service and Invitation
Gabby did a beautiful job during her Bat Mitzvah service
The invitation set the tone for the celebration to come. The envelope had the well-known interlocking "GG"' for Gabby
Guests were asked to come "Fashionably Chic"
Bat Mitzvah Decor
The place card table included stylish shoes made with candy, beautiful flower arrangements and a stunning picture of the guest of honor
Candy inspired dresses, made the room look sweet and chic!
The room was elegantly draped with white fabric and the purple up lighting
Each floral centerpiece included vibrant shades of purple flowers and a fashion and candy element
The teens enjoyed their lounge area
Special Party Touches From Mom Heather
Gumball candle lighting display
One of the creative shoes that Mom Heather made incorporating her daughter's love of candy
The Gucci inspired gift box
Gabby's sign-in monogram which now hangs in her bedroom
Table number signage
Candy Torahs made from two Sweet Tarts and a small piece of paper that was personalized with Gabby’s picture and Mitzvah date
Bat Mitzvah Special Moments
Gabby is a tap dancer and competes. Dad Leigh took lessons for three months. They started to slow dance and then mid-song started a tap dance to the song “The Candy Man”
Mom Heather became a Bat Mitzvah along with Gabby so Gabby made Heather a presentation and surprised her at the party!
Candle Lighting
Candy filled jars were used for the candle lighting display. Gabby is here lighting a candle with brother Wesley
Gabby and her proud parents
Sweet Ending
The candy theme continued with a candy cart, where guests filled bags with sweet treats as they left the party
White sweatshirts were given out with Gabby's logo
Mitzvah Project
At the age of 5, Gabby was diagnosed with Epilepsy. In March, Gabby raised money and participated in the Walk the Talk for Epilepsy at Hollywood Beach. Gabby was the top fundraising team. To date, Gabby has raised over $10,000 for the Epilepsy Foundation of Florida.
Advice from Mom Heather
“The advice I would share is to enjoy every minute as it is over in a blink of an eye. I worked so hard for a year, and it felt like it went by in an hour. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Focus on the positives, not the negatives. In other words, focus on what went right, not what went wrong.”
Vendor Directory
The following vendors helped to make Gabby’s Bat Mitzvah special. If you give any of them a call, let them know you read about their services on MitzvahMarket.com.
Venue/Security: David Posnack Jewish Community Center, 954-434-0499
Caterer/Cake: Sterling Caterers
Party Planner/Florist: Parties By Lyn, 305-273-4001
Décor/Sign-In/Special Touches/Logo Design: Mom Heather Silverstein, Gabbylicious Decor and More, 954-648-2916
Music: MC Alex Entertainment, 561-223-1622
Pre-Shoot Photographer: Toni Jade Photography, 561-203-8844
Party Photographer: Victoria Genova Photography, 954-816-2122
Videographer: Timeline Video Productions, 954-571-5155
Favors: Roy Getzoff, Cynsational, 954-661-8879
Air Brush Entertainment: Freddy the Artist, 561-807-7431
Photo Magical Green Screen: Andrea Friedman, 305-798-4627
Invitations: Samantha Harris, 305-335-0225
Bat Mitzvah girl’s dresses: Teen Angel, Neiman Marcus
Men’s Suits: Gucci
Hair: Jessica Guzman, JLStyling, 954-274-9815
Makeup: Nancy Rand, Touch Cosmetics, 786-301-1105
Transportation: Scott Liss, I Show 4 You, 954-449-3508
November 13th, 2017
A candle lighting ceremony at a Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration is a tradition many families like to include.
They are fun, but deciding on the perfect song for each candle can be stressful. Most kids are up-to-date on current music, but us parents sometimes need more help!
Dance Time Entertainment has provided entertainment at thousands of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs in the tri-state area. They are a full-service event and entertainment company, offering the best DJ’s with top-of-the-line equipment, dynamic emcees and professional dancers. In addition to their basic entertainment packages, they also offer live musicians, interactive games, amazing and unique talent, photo novelties, lounge decor, lighting design and more.
We asked Dance Time Entertainment to give us the Top 5 songs for each candle in the candle lighting ceremony. We have them listed below with easy to click on links.
We hope this helps with your music decisions for your child’s celebration!
TOP SONGS FOR THE GUEST OF HONOR
All Star – Smashmouth
Beautiful Boy – John Lennon
Beautiful Day – U2
Best Day of My Life – American Authors
Birthday – Beatles
For more top songs for the Guest of Honor, click here.
TOP SONGS FOR PARENTS & GRANDPARENTS
As Time Goes By – Jimmy Durante
As Long As We Got Each Other – Growing Pains Theme
Because You Loved Me – Celine Dion
Can You Feel The Love Tonight – Elton John
Can’t Stop The Feeling – Justin Timberlake
For more top songs for Parents and Grandparents Candles, click here.
TOP SONGS FOR BROTHERS & SISTERS
Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better – Annie Get Your Gun
Bad To The Bone -George Thorogood
Barbie Girl – Aqua
Born To Be Wild – Steppenwolf
Brown Eyed Girl – Van Morrison
For more top songs for Brothers and Sisters Candles, click here.
TOP SONGS FOR AUNTS, UNCLES & COUSINS
All You Need Is Love – Beatles
Bad Case of Loving You – Robert Palmer
Celebration – Kool & The Gang
Could You Be Loved – Bob Marley
Crazy Little Thing Called Love – Queen
For more top songs for Aunts, Uncles and Cousins Candles, click here.
TOP SONGS FOR OUT OF STATE GUESTS
America – Neil Diamond
Back Home In Indiana – Jim Nabors
California Dreamin’ – The Mamas & The Papas
California Girls – Beach Boys
Carolina On My Mind – James Taylor
For more top songs for Out of State Guests, click here.
TOP SONGS FOR FRIENDS
With a Little Help From My Friends – Beatles
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Marvin Gaye
All I Do Is Win – DJ Khaled
Anytime You Need A Friend – Mariah Carey
As Long as We Got Each Other – Growing Pains
For more top songs for Friends Candles, click here.
TOP SONGS FOR MEMORY CANDLE
Angel – Sarah McLachlan
A Thousand Years – Christina Perri
I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
I Will Remember You – Sarah McLachlan
Memory – Cats
For more top songs for Memory Candles, click here.
To learn more about Dance Time Entertainment, visit their extended profile page in our Vendor Directory.
Top Entrance Songs here.
Top Mother/Son & Father/Daughter dance songs here.
November 13th, 2017
Social media and technology have made a huge impact on Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations. Whether being used in decor design, interactive fun or favors, more and more teens are incorporating high-tech elements into their parties. These technologies provide endless opportunities to incorporate social media into your celebration.
So get social with these #bestpartyideas ever!
Mitzvah Instagram and Hashtags
Out of the Box Creations knew Hannah and her friends loved Instagram, so she created a life size Instagram photo booth. See more from this celebration
here
Alexa’s logo, created by graphic designer Amy Wohl of FabuDesigns.com, looked great as a Gobo on the dance floor and was used throughout the party. See more from this celebration
here
These favors by Gotham T-shirts beautifully reflected the theme #JustJules. See more from this celebration
here
Guests at this Bat Mitzvah took selfies and posted them on Instagram with the hashtag #emmatainment2013. See more from this celebration
here
Event planner Michelle Farber from M Studio Events designed the logo for the Weinberg Bat Mitzvah based on Instagram. See more from this celebration
here
This celebration included photos with the hashtag #TheMostSamazingBatMitzvah. See more from this celebration
here
Mitzvah iPhone and Facebook Ideas
The Event of A Lifetime designed place cards that resembled iPhones with a text conversation telling guests where to sit. See more from this celebration
here
For their Exit Treat, this creative family gave out Hershey Bars with a funny text message conversation to “Save the Date” for their youngest daughter's upcoming Bat Mitzvah in 2018. See more from this celebration
here
The inside of the kippot had the inscription “Appy imitzvah”, a great play on words given his theme. See more from this celebration
here
This customized archway greeted guests and made them feel like they were walking right into the Bat Mitzvah girl's Facebook page. See more from this celebration
here
Social Media Interactive Fun
“Selfie” photos can appear on delicious cookies, cupcakes, milkshakes and more “live” with Selffee! This photo booth produces edible selfies on the spot. Read more
here
Simon Elliot Events' Selfie kiosk is LED lit and can be customized to match the theme and branding of your affair. Additionally, each guest can take home a customized personal photo album filled with all of their selfie prints! Read more
here
The Gary family's Surprise Destination Bar Mitzvah included a Selfie photo booth. See more about this celebration
here
Foto Novelty provides a photo booth with a variety of lenses that can be applied to your pictures from Snapchat. Guests can "friend" their station and see the story of all pictures from the party for 24 hours. The snapchats can have a geo tag with your logo. Read more
here
Todd Yahney provides a unique photo station complete with two touch screen panels and can post pictures to all social media. Read more
here
We hope you enjoy all these great ideas! Remember, if you are interested in participating in a Mitzvah Family Spotlight story, let us know at info@mitzvahmarket.com.
November 13th, 2017
By Cara J. Moroze
For families with children who have special needs, preparing for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremony may seem like an insurmountable challenge. But with planning, support and creativity, it is very achievable.
The preparations and the service itself may require adaptations and modifications, but one thing is for certain, the experience will be ritually and spiritually authentic. Key to a positive approach is individualized preparations and thoughtful attention to the child’s self-esteem, with collaboration from teachers, clergy and family. For as wide a range of learning differences that exist, there are as many approaches to support and celebrate a child entering Jewish adulthood.
GOALS AND TEAMWORK
First things first: A Bar or Bat Mitzvah service is not a performance, nor is it a competition. A child is no more a Bar or Bat Mitzvah because of the number of Torah verses that are chanted, the quantity of prayers that are memorized, the venue in which it takes place or the number of guests to witness it happen. This is all about celebrating a child’s emergence into Jewish adulthood, and celebrating that participation as ritually unique and significant.
A family must have an open and honest dialogue with synagogue staff about both the special gifts and limitations of their child. Discuss your vision for the ceremony. Express your concerns about what could trigger potential problems and how to foster a positive experience. Make it a team effort with achievable goals. Connecting your child’s teachers, paraprofessionals, speech pathologists or any other educational supporters with your B’nai Mitzvah tutor will help lay the groundwork for engaged and individualized learning.
Jacob is a student of the Ma'ayan program. He celebrated his Bar Mitzvah in Israel on December 26, 2016 with 17 family members as part of a 10-day trip organzied by Keshet Tours
In Westfield, NJ, Temple Emanu-El is host to a program called Ma’ayan, which offers a religious school program for any child of special needs, regardless of synagogue affiliation. “If there are behavioral, physical or developmental challenges, we find a way to make it work,” says Abra Lee, director of Emanu El’s religious school. “If a child has modifications outlined, we ask families to share that.” Ma’ayan then engages the synagogue’s inclusion coordinator to determine the next steps in Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation with their highly skilled staff.
Some congregations with smaller education programs may only have rabbis and cantors at the helm, while others have directors, teachers and a tutoring staff. The Westchester Reform Temple (WRT) in Scarsdale, NY, is fortunate to have Nancy Abraham as their Learning Differences Coordinator. She works closely with families of children with learning challenges. Abraham not only identifies children’s individual learning styles, but she also develops strong relationships with the families at the start of their religious education. When it comes to working one-on-one with the children, “We connect with them emotionally,” she says. “We value every aspect of who they are and their identity. We appreciate what their talents and gifts are, and all that contributes to their B’nai Mitzvah progress.”
Amanda Kleinman, the assistant cantor who works closely with Abraham at WRT, approaches the process without any assumptions about what a child can or cannot do. “We encourage students to work hard and dedicate themselves, within a structure that is going to be realistic for the student,” she says. “As our Senior Cantor, Jill Abramson, often says, ‘We want them to feel stretched, not stressed.’ That is our barometer for a meaningful experience.”
SACRED TIMES & SPACES
Most B’nai Mitzvah ceremonies take place Saturday mornings and many congregations — especially those with large membership — schedule a date that may be years in advance. But for children with special needs, there may need to be modifications and adaptations when it comes to time and location.
For instance, WRT has several spaces, including a sanctuary that seats 450 and a room that seats 100 where a service can be held. Finding the right space is key, according to Abraham. She has worked with students with a range of learning challenges for over a decade and understands the need for flexibility. Rituals are modified for students and their families, and in some cases, services are held outside of the main sanctuary in a smaller area to create a safe, comfortable and happy space for the child.
Lee shares a story about a boy with sensory challenges enrolled at Ma’ayan. “His environment is everything to him,” she says. “He has to be in a room with natural light. If he’s in a smaller setting he feels very uncomfortable.” Typically, students in the Ma’ayan program celebrate their Bar or Bat Mitzvah in a small chapel, but for this particular student, the spacious and brightly lit sanctuary proved to be the right space for him.
Synagogues must think about alternatives to accommodate the needs and strengths of each child, says Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer, a congregant at Philadelphia’s Mishkan Shalom and the director of the Jewish Learning Venture Whole Community Inclusion Program. One might “think outside the synagogue” if a child’s home or school offers a more comforting and familiar place to conduct a service.
Timing is an equally important consideration. For Kaplan-Mayer’s own son George, who has autism, morning was the best part of the day for him. “We chose a Monday morning for the Torah service. Sometimes synagogues haven’t thought about those alternatives. It’s really about having a creative and inclusive mindset.”
George Kaplan-Mayer and his family on the day of his Bar Mitzvah at Mishkan Shalom in Philadelphia
Some children even have their services in Israel. Ma’ayan student Jacob Wilner traveled to Israel with 17 members of his family as part of a 10-day trip organized by Keshet Tours. He had his Bar Mitzvah at the Old Yishuv Court Museum in Jerusalem last December.
In Israel, Rabbi David Laor — who was recommended to the family by Rabbi Douglas Sagal at Temple Emanu-El — was very tuned in to the family’s needs. “He made the ceremony warm, and he was very good at letting Jacob know what he was supposed to do,” says Jacob’s mom Jennifer.
After the ceremony, the entire family went to a place called Pantry Packers where they packed food for the homeless as part of Jake’s Mitzvah Project. “Since our son loves to travel and see new places, we thought this would be more meaningful to him (and to us) to experience Judaism, his Bar Mitzvah and seeing the country all rolled into one. This was a full immersive, sensory experience, rather than just a ceremony he may not have understood or felt comfortable with. Jacob understands he took his first step into being a Jewish adult, and he got to experience the roots of our culture at the same time.”
ADAPTIVE RITUALS
With all of George’s sensory issues, there was a chance he might not do what the family had planned for the service. “We asked our guests in advance to enter the sanctuary with a feeling of celebration, love and acceptance,” says his mother. “I didn’t want people to feel anxious. This is our reality day to day.”
For the parent who says, “My child can’t do all the required elements expected of B’nai Mitzvah,” consider this: “Being obligated doesn’t mean doing everything yourself. Relying on someone else is different from being exempt.” This advice comes from an online webinar called “B’nai Mitzvah Ritual for Adolescents” led by Rabbi Ruti Regan, the Rabbinic Disability Scholar in Residence at Matan, based in New York City. Matan’s services help guide Jewish leaders, educators and communities throughout North America in creating learning environments for children with special needs. Rabbi Regan advises that teachers and clergy must be open to modifying and adapting, and that families “should not assume that things are forbidden.”
Case in point, George loves nature, and the family had a beautiful video of him enjoying the outdoors. So they played the video during the Pesukei D’Zimra, the portion of the prayer service that invites spiritual focus through Psalms readings. It was George’s unique way of participating in the prayer, which every participant found profoundly meaningful.
While George is non-verbal, he did learn how to sing the Shema. He also struggles with fine motor issues and his parents worried he wouldn’t be able to carry the Torah. So instead, they bestowed that honor to Kaplan-Mayer’s father and it became something very special that George could share with his grandfather.
TRICKS OF THE TRADE
“Teach a child according to his or her way.” (Proverbs 22:6) In other words, the Bible says it’s necessary to offer differentiated learning to support the uniqueness of every child. For instance, perhaps there’s a way to teach Hebrew through movement for a child who is a kinesthetic learner. For those with visual processing disorders, Hebrew primers can be modified with increased font sizes, or read online using screen overlays, rulers or masks. And if it’s proving too difficult to learn Hebrew, there is absolutely nothing wrong with reading the transliteration.
Repetition is important for any Hebrew learner, and the use of technology has made it even easier to break down lines of prayers or verses of Torah to short, repeatable sound files. There are also iPad apps for Hebrew letter recognition and for learning Torah portions.
The most important tool that parents, teachers and clergy can use with students of special needs? “Be specific with the schedule,” says Cantor Kleinman. “When children, or for that matter, parents, have any anxiety over the process, you can point to the schedule of what is expected and when.” It will settle nerves for the child and parents alike, and keep everyone on the same page.
LEARNING FROM LIOR
There is a heartfelt documentary from 2008 called ‘Praying for Lior’ that I highly recommend. This is the story of Lior Liebling, a boy with Down Syndrome, and his spiritual journey in becoming a Bar Mitzvah. There is a particularly poignant moment when Lior explains what it takes to stand on the bimah in front of such a large congregation to share his d’var Torah. “By being strong, and by being strength,” Lior explains. “And you need to be encouraged because you are a person. Then don’t be nervous, be happy. Just let your heart beat.”
Let Lior’s words be a source of strength and encouragement to all children, of all abilities, who are embarking on the time-honored path to Jewish adulthood. Mazel tov.
RESOURCES AND PROGRAMS
Matan (Matankids.org): Based in New York City, Matan educates Jewish leaders, educators and communities, empowering them to create learning environments supportive of children with special needs, through training Institutes and consultations across North America.
Whole Community Inclusion: (jewishlearningventure.org/empoweringinstitutions/wci/): An initiative of the Jewish Learning Venture, with programming that engages people with special needs and their families, and empowers congregations to be more inclusive.
Ma’ayan: (tewnj.org/learn/religious-school/maayan): Based in Westfield, NJ, Ma’ayan serves to support both congregants of Temple Emanu-El as well as families who are affiliated with another synagogue to supplement their child’s existing religious education program.
JBI International: (jbilibrary.org): The JBI Library provides individuals who are blind, visually impaired, physically handicapped or reading disabled with books (including the Tanakh), magazines and special publications of Jewish and general interest in audio, large print and braille formats, free of charge.
INSPIRING VIDEOS: Praying with Lior (Documentary of a boy with Down Syndrome and his spiritual journey to becoming a Bar Mitzvah): prayingwithlior.com
Pamela Schuller (“Two Little Words That Can Change a Life” from her ELI Talk about living with Tourette’s Syndrome): tinyurl.com/2littlewords.
Cara J. Moroze has been a B’nai Mitzvah tutor for 15 years. Her students’ ceremonies have been held in locations from a traditional synagogue to atop Masada, and everywhere in between. She resides in Montclair, NJ, with her husband and two sons.
Get your free copy of Mitzvah Market Magazine here.
November 9th, 2017
By Brynne Magaziner
How To Incorporate Your Child’s Name or Initials Into A Fabulous Logo
A truly unique logo is an amazing way for your child to express him or herself. And what better way to represent your child than using his or her name or initials? You can use the logo to brand your party starting with the invitation and stamp and following through on the sign-in board, centerpieces, giveaways, cake, even up in lights. The sky is the limit.
Logos with names can be super simple — just the name — or more complex — a play on the name using a tagline. You can incorporate it into a fun saying (“The Brice is Right”) or expression (“OMG!”). When designing a logo, keep in mind how all aspects of the logo work together — the fonts, colors and even the shapes of the letters, as well as where you plan to use the logo.
All of these logos featuring the names of the guest of honor set the tone for an amazing event.
AVERY: Here’s a play on Avery’s name and the fun that her guests would have at her Bat Mitzvah party. Its distressed look, bubbly font, and warm colors give off a playful urban vibe which fit perfectly with her loft venue. Logo by
Party Logo Design
DAYTON: Variations of the same logo can be used in different places to keep decor interesting. Dayton had two “A Beautiful Day” logos which were used in many ways — on her cake, her centerpieces, menu cards, custom pillows for lounge furniture, stickers and more. The sunburst references back to the word “day” in the logo and the sophisticated fonts paired nicely with the rest of the event’s look. Event by
Rubel Event Management. Photographer: Joy Glenn, Designer: Oh So Fabulous/Tina LaMorte, Logo Design - Bella Dia Designs
DYLAN: Replacing the “L” in Dylan with a bat is a clever way to stay on-theme, plus the colors tie into Dylan’s love of the Mets. The logo is simple yet versatile and can be used on everything from a dance floor decal to t-shirts. Logo by
Party Logo Design
EJP: Taglines, using the guest of honor’s initials, are very popular. Everyone Just Party became the theme and tagline for this celebration. Logo by
Gotham T-Shirts
MAYA: The fun and whimsy tone of Maya's circus-themed Bat Mitzvah party is captured perfectly by her logo. It is both classic and modern and was used in all sorts of ways from labels on cotton candy to bar fronts and LED screens. Logo by
iSparkle Events
MIA: Mia’s logo and party were all about the polka dots! The font choice, with its rounded edges and dots paired well with all of the circles used throughout the party. Logo by
iSparkle Events
NATALIE: Natalie’s logo offers a play on her nickname “Nat” to tie into her international travel theme. Her fun and girly side is also shown with her name in silver sparkle and outlined in pink. The passport stamp is a unique way to share her Bat Mitzvah date, hometown and zip code. Logo by
FabuDesigns.com
NICOLE: Cleverly using the Coca-Cola logo, “It Was The Real Thing!” for Nicole’s Bat Mitzvah. Logo by
Mister Promotion
REICH: This family asked to have their last name Reich incorporated into their logo with a request from the guest of honor to use stars. “Reich For The Stars” was the result. Logo by
Gotham T-Shirts
SAM: This creative take on a basketball theme pairs Sam’s name with the words “Slam Dunk” and a basketball player. The letter “L” in bright orange does the perfect job of highlighting both the basketball player making his slam dunk and underlining the logo itself. Logo by
FabuDesigns.com
TOPF: It’s always fun when a last name ties into a logo. The “I’m on TOPF of the world” was a perfect fit for this Bat Mitzvah girl for her big day. Logo by
The Event Of A Lifetime
WORST: When your last name is Worst, it’s the best name for a logo! Guests had a great time at “The Worst Party". Logo by
Gotham T-Shirts
Brynne Magaziner is the owner and Chief Magic Maker of Pop Color Events, a boutique event planning firm specializing in Bar Mitzvah & Bat Mitzvah event planning in Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia. Visit popcolorevents.com for more information.
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